I know, I am weird. But the other day I was sooooooooo tired and knew that it was going to be another long day with just me and the babe. He's had an ear infection and is up allllll night and won't let me set him down during the day. He's in pain every time he eats because of acid reflux and has been throwing up for almost a week. I feel so bad for him and I feel helpless because no matter what I do, he cries.
So the day started out with me crying and feeling sorry for myself the minute Dan left for work. I was exhausted and just "couldn't" do it again, it was becoming groundhog day, I really needed some caffeine but didn't want to go out (plus I'm trying not to drink it).
Next I went to to the weather channel site to see if the sun was going to come out so I could take baby for a walk. Nope. Instead they had videos of the Tsunami and they automatically played when you went to the site and I got wrrapped up in them. I couldn't stop thinking about the cars they showed driving on the roads that were suddenly swept away and wondering who was in them. Then they showed a rescue of a little family and I started crying again. This time for those people.
I was sent into thoughts about Thailand and the island that we last spent our days on when we visited last year, Koh Phi Phi. Hard to explain but the strip of the island where everyone stays and where the shops and resturants are is surrounded by 2 bays. The strip itself has only 500ft of land in between the two bodies of water. This led me to wondering what happened there with the tsunami and I watched a video (WHY?? I don't know!). It was pure devastation.
I promise I'm almost done here... After I watched that video, one of the side videos was a memorial video for Viktor, a little boy that died on Phi Phi. Now I was in hysterics. And this is where my 3rd breakdown came in and I stopped watching stuff. Charlie was sleeping on my chest, which is the only place that he will nap these days, and I just held him and cried. I couldn't believe that I was feeling bad for myself when I should have been so grateful that I have my baby safe and sound, so what if he is a little bit sick right now. I couldn't stop thinking about how I never wanted to let him go and wanted to freeze time and keep him little and safe.

I decided that I would take a picture in Photobooth because I just wanted to see if the tears would show up,(I already said that I KNOW I'm weird!) They didn't.

I was crying so hard that he woke up and looked at me with a big smile. Thanks Baby. I love you!